No News is.... No News!
Hi. I know it's been a while since I wrote anything on here but I have been incredibly busy.
Well, my dream of being a composer full-time has been well and truly put on ice. I just didn't make it through the lockdown sadly, so I've had to turn my attention to other pursuits, mainly affiliate marketing and web design.
I can't pretend to enjoy it because the truth is, I despise it. As I did when I was composing, I'm still putting in 14 to 18 hour days and I'm just exhausted. I really don't think I can keep it up for much longer.
I read much on my Facebook about Mental Health and it's importance. I agree with it all and I believe I have a special perspective having been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Affective Disorder. Nobody wants to employ a 58 year old, Bi-Polar, Diabetic ex-convict so I have little choice but to carry on trying to eke out a living on the internet.
Some days I feel like I just want it all to end but I doubt I'll ever take my own life. It would be contrary to my spiritual beliefs. Instead, I live close to it, in a kind of stationary orbit just above it. It is a wretched existence Ladies and Gentlemen and one I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Perhaps I would wish it upon the former friend who dealt with my mental health issues by sending me to Coventry for 5 years!
Anyway, I'm sorry if this is negative but I have to talk to someone, even if it's just my blog. Some of you are going to be saying, "Bloody Ken Ferguson. Always asking for help!" Those days are over my friends. I have given up hoping that people will come through for me and I just try to get on with it as best I can.
When I have the mental strength again, I will pursue my dream of getting a recording of my Symphony and then hopefully I'll have more positive news to write about. Until that time, No news is no News. I hope you are all keeping safe in these strange times. God Bless and I'll see you all either here or on the other side.